Tuesday, 14 June 2005

Unbelief

Its so easy to doubt God. What a test I had on Sunday in church. Went out to be prayed for by a visiting speaker for my right eye which has been giving me a whole load of problems lately. Keep watering up for no apparent reason, found out from the Net that it could be a blocked tear duct.
Anyway, i stood there... for one and a half hours! What a way to be tested... I was bypassed time and again. By the time I thought it would be my turn finally, 3 elderly ladies came and stood by me! Tested again! But I told myself I want to meet God today, even if it means embarassing myself. Finally, he got to me, prayed, told me if it didn't get any better to see the doctor. (The speaker was a medical doctor by profession). I definitely did not want to go see the doctor as it meant, putting a needle into my tear duct to unblock it.
After the prayer, still nothing! I told myself, "OH NO!!! This cannot be!" Obviously, I left feeling very disappointed. However, as I was driving back, the still small voice reminded me of this verse that I read before. (I can't even remember the verse!) It went something like "I believe in You, Lord, forgive my unbelief." (Found out later it was: "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!") and guess what? The tears slowly began to dry up. When it started to water again, I repeated the verse again, and again, and again.
I really wanted to believe that God is real. I have been walking further and further away from God lately. I have never been so far away from Him. I guess I was so desperate to have Him back but I now know, He never was away...

P.S. Just in case u wanted to know, the verse was Mark 9:24

1 comment:

~JenC~ said...
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